It's Christmas-Time and You Have a Newborn—What Do You Do When Visiting Family?

You are going to be visiting with family come this Christmas holiday, and you are worried about all the germs they may have and will be passing on to you and your newborn baby! What do you do about Aunt Edna wanting to kiss your precious newborn when she may have the latest gunk going around?!

First things first—and most importantly—remember that you are the baby's parents and as such, you are their number one protector! Do not feel bad for choosing not to pass your baby around and risk the baby picking up any number of viruses. Here are my favorite tricks for doing this gently.

Come to Family's Wearing Your Baby in a Snuggly Wrap

This is by far my most FAVORITE strategy! It's the easiest and most loveable! Your baby gets to snuggle up against you AND he feels safe and protected. What's amazing about this is that your Aunt Edna can oooh-and-aaahhh from a distance, peeking in. Your Aunt is far less likely to ask to hold your baby when she sees him snuggled in sleeping soundly, rested against you!

Obviously, when YOU are holding the baby she won't be able to pass on her germs unless she leans in for a kiss. I find that this is the most effective strategy because people hate to disturb a resting baby when they see he is so comfortable where he is.

As a side note, there is truly such a thing as a "fourth trimester" where in the first 3 months post-partum the baby wants to be held mostly by mom. You will find he tends to be more fussy when others hold him, or for after a short duration. This is because he is new to this open world and finds his comfort with you. He knows your heartbeat, your stomach sounds, and your voice from when you carried him in the womb! YOU are his safe place!

Gently Ask Anyone Wanting to Hold the Baby to Wash Their Hands First

This really goes without saying for a baby under 3 months of age whose immune system is immature but it can definitely help. It may deter people who think it is not necessary. But most importantly, it does protect the baby should they go forward and hold him. Win!

Tell Them You Need to Go Nurse the Baby

One of the biggest challenges for a new mother when a lot of family are visiting is ensuring she gets all her breastfeeds in during the day. This is especially difficult when the baby gets passed around from one family member to another. Sure enough, you are likely to need to feed the baby when he gets passed to the next family member who "just got to hold him". ::cue complaints::

Remember that you need to be breastfeeding the baby (or pumping) at least 8 times a day. This is particularly important in the first 6 weeks post-partum. If you inadvertently end up spacing your feeds (or pumps) out longer, essentially missing a breastfeed, you could see your milk supply drop!

I always tell my moms to feel free then to walk up to a family member who is holding your baby and say, "oh sorry, I need to go feed the baby....it's that time again!". For breastfeeders this is a huge win—you get your baby back in your arms and he gets to eat/you don't miss a breastfeed. If you are not breastfeeding this is a bit more challenging because Aunt Edna could just say "oh, let me give him a bottle!!" For you, please feel empowered to pick your baby up and tell them you need to go change him. Surely he needs a diaper change!

Mention the Dreaded Overstimulation Factor

This one can be a bit difficult because everyone in the family wants to get their time to hold the new baby! Unfortunately, it is a reality though. Too much passing around the baby and he will surely get overstimulated. Overstimulation leads to a fussy baby who may be inconsolable later.

If you have been unable to hold the baby yourself and he has been passed around much this is a great strategy. Let the family know that if he gets overstimulated by so many people holding him that he will be very fussy later and it will be a difficult night! This one is almost always successful in getting the baby back in your arms.

Final Thoughts

The most important things to remember are first, you are your child's protector and you as mother have every right to hold him and keep him! Second, if you are breastfeeding, there is a very real risk that you will miss breastfeeding sessions and milk supply could decrease and/or you will become engorged! It is important to ensure you don't go more than 3 hours without breastfeeding. Holding your baby in a soft wrap/carrier is the perfect way to gently show you don't want the baby passed around.

Lastly, and when you feel stressed this can be difficult, but count your blessings. Having lots of family who want to hold your baby and love on him IS a blessing! ::wink, wink::

Need Help?

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